Mela Kamin – 4:10 Ministries

When you spend most of your life pointing out the negatives, being thankful isn’t a default setting.

In high school, creative writing was my favorite class. In a difficult college course, I knew I could bump up my grade if an essay was part of the test. Writing came easily, as did all the rules that surrounded it. I’m not a numbers person, but I can conjugate a verb. I know when to use a comma, I enjoy clauses – you get the picture. I’m an above-average speller. Since I was little, I would go over the spelling of a word numerous times in my head, like a little game. Sometimes I still catch myself doing that. Words were my playground and my friend. Words are my comfort.

Naturally, I looked for a career in which I could use my love of words and writing. I decided to pursue a journalism degree. Immediately, I chose to specialize in public relations. Not only did I get to write, but I was allowed and encouraged to edit. “This was what I was made for,” I thought. Truthfully, being an editor suited me. I’m a perfectionist and it’s easy for me to find mistakes, misspellings and errors in grammar.

But, it wasn’t just about words; I was voted “most critical” in high school. Obviously, my editing was personal too. I easily found fault everywhere with everyone. Being able to point out what’s wrong serves its purpose, but it’s a skill that needs to be approached carefully and with a lot of tact. I wasn’t blessed with a lot of tact – a lot of nerve, but not a lot of tact.

I’m trying to instill a spirit of thankfulness in my children. But, coming from me, the woman formerly known as “most critical,” they often do what I do, not what I say (or wished I had said). Being grateful, pointing out the positive, finding the silver lining is a stretch for me – something I have to work at – constantly. That’s what I would like to edit. I’d like to hit backspace over those moments where I grumbled, whined, complained, found fault, kept records of wrongs. The hard truth is that my life is being written as I go, without the ability to edit or undo.

But, even when I try to take control from God and do things, see things and say things my way, that’s when He, the great Editor, wipes the slate clean. He isn’t finished writing my story and I’m not finished trying to create a better one for my kids. He takes me back, critical self and all, and highlights the good, helping me grow closer to who He created me to be. For that, I’m truly thankful.