Mela Kamin – What I Say in between Songs

The singer & the photographer. Awwww.
.
So my sweet husband told me a few years ago (ok, maybe he repeatedly told me over the course of our almost 12-year marriage) to find something I LOVE to do and DO IT! He may have added “for crying out loud” or “for Heaven’s sakes.” Either way, it was his not-so-subtle way of encouraging me to do the thing I wanted to do.
.
Those comments were usually precluded by me whining about not EVER being able to get out and do anything. I’m sure I was complaining about having to do it all and feeling burned out, invisible and swallowed up by motherhood.
.
So, when Greg would give me these little “get out of jail free card” comments, the little defensive hairs on the back of my head would stand up. I’d get on my martyr soapbox and tell him I couldn’t possibly leave.
.
I wouldn’t say it, but I was fearing 1) giving up control over the parenting or the house or the whatever and 2) that I had no clue what it is I wanted to be doing.
.
Even now, when I know what I’ve been called to do – I still have a hard time just doing it. And here’s why …
.
I’m creative.
.
There, I said it.
.
I admit it. I’m somehow SO creative, I can’t narrow down what I want to do. I’m a creativity junkie. I play hopscotch with my hobbies. Just when I lean down to pick one up, another shiny new one appears and off I go. This would really explain the current state of my “craft/guest room” GASP!
.
I love how a new hobby feels – the romance of it all . . . new, fresh, filled with possibilities, no marks of failure and regret. But, just like in a relationship, if all we’re looking for are “first love” feelings, we’ll miss the worn-in, constant love and deep connection we get from the one we’re currently in.
.
So, am I cheating on my true calling, by going off and filling up my day with other things? In a word – Yes.
.
Right now, I’m sitting writing, which I should’ve been doing about every. other. minute. today. Instead, I was blog hopping and reading – sure some scripture and insight, but also designs, crafts and art. I love all those things and they have their place in my life.
.
But, in this moment my art is my writing and my music … not that other stuff. Because my hobbies and my calling are two separate things.
.
I’ve always dabbled in a little bit of everything – I’m a Jane of all trades kind of person. I’m a quick learner, competitive and naturally creative. So, part of me wants to sew to show that I can. I want to display the quilt I made my daughter. I want to do a post about the desk I upcycled for her room. I want everyone to know I can succeed at those things too.
.
But the truth is: I’m a show off and it’s about only one thing: stupid pride.
.
I want people to like me. I want others to compliment my creativity, my brilliance, my skill and determination. But, that’s a soul-damaging path to set out on.
.
Instead of devoting time to Him and to the calling He gave me, I’m working at things that give ME a momentary high and feed my pride instead of my purpose.
.
One of the most convicting, challenging, effective, humble writers I read, Francis Chan said, “Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.”
 .
Ouch.
.
Now, don’t misunderstand – I’m not knocking anyone else’s hobbies, skills, jobs or callings. I’m only talking about mine.
.
4:10 Ministries is about encouraging people to use their gifts in service to others. 1 Peter 4:10 tells us that “Each one should use whatever gift He has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” That’s good stuff, people.
.
Can you be a Mother, photographer, writer, baker, singer, designer, crafter, quilter, artist and serve? Absolutely! Many of my friends are doing just that – they not only discovered and developed their gifts, but they are sharing what they know, what they’ve learned, sometimes supporting their family through these gifts and blessings others through their insight.
.
They are growing more into who they were created to be and it’s beautiful to watch.
.
But, for me – my writing and music feeds my soul, gives back to the One who gifted me and allows me to sink deeper into His arms while I listen . . . something I should continually try to improve. The other stuff – it’s fine and fun – it soothes my creativity ADD like Oregon Chai Vanilla Latte fills a warm, yummy drink need.
.
But in the midst of this chaos, my fear is that I will be so distracted by wanting to be popular, that I’ll miss using my gifts for His purpose. Popular looks enticing and slick and fun. Productive and purposeful = BOR-ING. But that’s society’s view isn’t it? And, I can’t view my calling & what I do with my time through the world’s warped lenses.
.

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

.
I can’t think of anything better to renew my mind that digging into the Word. The fuller that well is, the more I’ll be able to draw from it.
.
I know Pride isn’t gone for good. He’ll keep showing up and I’ll keep working at adjusting my focus from popular back to purposeful . . . renewing my mind to better see His will – His good. pleasing. PERFECT. will.
.
Now, I’m off to work on a song. la la la la LAAAAAA
.
I’m curious – Do you have a hard time focusing on what will be productive or purposeful, rather than what is popular?