Mela Kamin – What I Say in between Songs

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These days, I look around and all I see is a mess. I’m not just talking about my house. Of course, with three kids, a ministry, Greg’s full-time studio job, his freelance jobs and a new business on the horizon, we do have A LOT going on in our space.
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What I’m really talking about is the world, my parenting and my heart – mess, mess and double mess. And, to be honest, at my core, I’m a messy person. Sure, I look longingly at decorating mags and I have bought my fair share of organizing tools. Yet, with all that desire to make it happen, I can easily do other things instead of putting it into practice, because I don’t deem it important.
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Being the scatterbrained creative person I am, leads me to flit from one thing to another. My little artistic spurts of inspiration sometimes leave a disaster in my wake.
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That’s why I love what The Nester says: “It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.” Do I agree? Yes. But does it take away the wish to do it (whatever “it” is) better or compare myself to others? Sadly, No.
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This goes for my house, my parenting, my music, my everything.
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Yet I know the more we try to be the perfect example, the less attainable, touchable, relatable our lives seem to others … there’s no “me too” moments to share. And, therein lies the dilemma. How do I balance the knowing that there is no perfect, with the desire to eventually get there?
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So, I come back to The Nester quote often. It reminds me of another favorite quote from gifted speaker/author/singer Sheila Walsh, who says, “Our brokenness is a better bridge to others than our pretend wholeness will ever be.”
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We’re so busy putting on the disguise of perfection that we rob others of the chance to truly get to know us. We’re so embarassed by our past and shamed by our mistakes that we miss seeing in others what we once recognized in ourselves.

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I wonder what would happen if we looked up long enough from our own insecurity to reach out to someone? What then? Would they laugh at where we’ve been, what we’ve done, who we think we are now? I know when someone has shared a part of her story that I identified with, I sighed, I smiled (or cried) and I thought, “Someone GETS me. Someone knows what it’s like.”
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Now, about my house & heart mess – our home is generally a circus – Greg and I are both loud, gregarious, opinionated and creative. Plus, we’re both busy and disorganized (though Greg is much tidier than I). Throw in a 5 year old with a severe nut allergy, a 7 year old with a sensory processing disorder & the drama of a preteen daughter and you’ve got the makings of one interesting household. We live somewhere between slightly odd and borderline chaotic.
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I love my kids something fierce. Do they exasperate me? Yes. Do I fail them in my parenting abilities? Many times. Do I seek to follow Jesus more closely so my kids might learn about real love, grace and sacrifice? Absolutely.
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We’re not perfect and as much as I would like to clean us all up and get it right, I can’t. But I know the One who can and He never asks me to clean up before I come. He invites me – mess and all – to sit with Him, talk with Him and follow Him.
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You see, perfection is a mirage. You think you can see it in the distance – you know, when you have more time, money or ability. And, when you get up close to it, you notice it was never even there. The only perfection that ever was, is or ever will be is Jesus Christ. And, we all fall short of that . . . of Him. Yet, every minute we spend on this side of Heaven, we get lied to, and fall into the trap of thinking our family, our kids, our houses, our jobs, our bank accounts need to be something they are not.
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I say we should embrace all that we are (and aren’t), share what we’ve experienced – because there’s beauty in our brokenness. God can use it for good.
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He came to make something beautiful out of our mess.
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I’d love to hear what you think. Do you struggle with perfectionism and letting yourself be real with others?